#becoming clean again is actually exhausting because it feels like wherever food touched me is burning and i have to wash it off or i feel

[ociels]

i genuinely don’t think i lost that much weight due to of ocd and avoiding food bc it’s contaminated i genuinely think i just grew.. as teenagers do…

[slashingdisneypasta]

Hello! Can I have a scenario where Jafar catch a little girl who is a street rat and was trying to steel from the palace. He decides to let her go but she keep coming back wanting him to take her as his apprentice. "I want to learn from the best wizard" she said. Thank!

Hope this is cute! ^^ I needed / need to practise writing Jafar some more. 

~~~

“Oh… “A joyful smile and laugh rings out from the Sultan after his eyes roam off of Jafar and to the space behind him, in boredom from the conversation. He points with a stout little pointer finger at whatever’s amusing him. “Jafar, I believe you have a companion there, behind you!”

“What? My lord, I… “Sweeping his cape back with a curved hand, Jafar twists in around and looks around… then down… and scowls. “Oh, its you again.”

The little girl raises her hand and smiles at him, excited to be noticed after listening to such a loooong, boooring discussion about farming and grain. “Hi!”

Instead of patting her head or saying anything back to her, Jafar promptly turns back to the Sultan and pastes an apologetic smile on his face. “Sir, I found this urchin skulking around yesterday and sent her back to wherever she comes from… seems she doesn’t listen to directions, though, regrettably. Forgive me, I’ll handle it right away- “

“Oh, truly, don’t bother yourself about it, Jafar! She isn’t a trouble!- Just a little girl. Hello dear, what’s your name?” The Sultan, sweet and naïve man that he is, is completely taken with your little street rat charms already and passes Jafar to hold his hands excitedly behind his back and talk to you.

“I’m Y/N! And I’m five years old!” You hold up your hand again, cheesing at your five fingers, demonstrating how old you are. “Who are you?”

“This is the Sultan, you disrespectful little! - “

“Jafar! Please! She isn’t expected to know me, she’s just a child.” Propping his fists on his hips disappointedly and appalled his Vizier’s behaviour, causing Jafar to roll his eyes as soon as his boss’s head is turned, gripping his staff tightly between his spindly fingers. “Allah! Don’t listen to him Y/N, he’s just a silly grumpy man. I’m Sultan. Its lovely to meet you.”

“What I meant, sire, is that the thieves are concocting new ways to steal from you all the time! This little girl could be a deceitful plot, sir.”

With every word that comes out of Jafar’s mouth, the Sultan becomes more and more disappointed. What- does his vizier hate children?? How can that be! “Jafar, I want you to stop this nonsense at once. And I’m ordering you to go feed this child, she looks skinnier than the horns on an oryx- I dread to see what her concaved little stomach looks like under that cloth she wears. Now, go. I’m very busy!”

As the Sultan turns around and bids you a good day, and then totters off to another room to no doubt, play with some more toys or find his wayward daughter to bother, Jafar assess the beaming child looking up at him. Then, just as she’s about to open her mouth and say something, he starts for the door and sweeps out of the room. “Oh, sure, ‘nonsense’. It’s not as if you pay me for this kind of advice, or anything. ‘Grand Vizier’ my snake- hurry up, urchin!”

“Oh, coming!!” You exclaim, already having been trying to catch up with his ridiculously long strides- Now you’re running.

When you two finally arrive at the kitchen, which is on the first level when you began on the 3rd, you’re exhausted and basically flop onto the nearest stool. But you’re too short to actually get on it without climbing, which would be too strenuous for you in the moment, so you’re just holding it for dear life and hoping you don’t die from lack of air. As Jafar orders the kitchen staff to prepare you something quick, you just pant like a dog onto the seat of the stool.

He turns around to see this and rolls his eyes again. “Alla’s sake, you’d think a street rat would be more agile then you.” As if this is all a huge stress on his shoulders and you should be beyond grateful for his attentions, Jafar picks you up and sets you on the stool. Now you sigh and drop your cheek onto the kitchen bench. Jafar settles himself in the bench across from you, and sets his snake staff against the table next to him. “So, did you come to prosper where you failed yesterday? Because if I were a little thief like you, I wouldn’t seek my former capture out on the second attempt. I’d avoid him.”

“Ah… “You finally pull yourself together, and unstick your little cheek from the wooden, lacquered bench. “No! I came looking for you.”

Jafar raises a sceptical eyebrow. “Why?”

“Your magic! I wanna learn!”

… “My what? I’m sure I don’t know what you refer to.”

“The magic! It made the Sultan mans eyes go swirly and red, and you used that.” As you point at the snake staff, Jafar’s confusion and, now, frustration grows and his lips turn down in a scowl.

“But… that was up on the 3rd floor again… I found you at the entrance of the palace?”

You stretch your toes out under the table, as they sway in the air can’t touch the ground, shrugging under the mans hard gaze. “I followed you down there! I tried to think of a way to ask you, but then you saw me and sent me away! I want to learn the mag-”

Jafar pipe sup quick, stopping you from saying anything else incriminating around the kitchen staff. Hopefully, they were too busy to hear all that business about the Sultans eyes going ‘swirly’, as it is. This is a predicament- of all the issues Jafar foresaw in his plan to find his lamp, this little twit didn’t even make the list. Damnit. “First of all, little urchin, you need to stop saying the word magic around these… “He looks around suspiciously and lowers his voice. “Servants. For one, because its sorcery; Not ‘magic’. And for a second reason, because people can’t know about it. It’s a secret. Do you know what a secret i- Oh of course you know what that is. Anyway, for that reason, I cannot teach you. Now wait silently for your food, eat it, and begone.”

Pouting, you put your hands on the table in earnest. “But! -“

“What did you not understand?”

Before you can open your mouth again, a plate with delicious smelling, warm steam wafting off of it and into your face is set on the bench in front of you. The chef mutters something about that being leftovers from the Sultan and the Princesses’ lunch but your eyes widen at it. Just the portions are more then you’ve ever seen, never mind the smell! Quickly, you get to eating away.

You lick that plate clean before you’re done with it.

Its silent for a moment, as Jafar’s still stuck in his thoughts that he entertained himself with while you ate, before you speak up again, ripping him from his mind. “I’ll work really hard!”

Sighing and massaging his temple, he turns back to you. “It’s not about work ethic.”

You cross your arms, glaring stubbornly back at him.

You’ll be back.

___TIME SKIP: A Couple Weeks Later / CHANGE OF POV___

“Oh, Jafar!~”

Oh Jafar!~ = Jafar’s least favourite phrase as of late, because it always comes from the Sultan and it is always a precursor to something about Y/N. She has invaded his life and he can’t seem to remove her from it- she just keeps coming back! And, he tried to make her public enemy number 1 by telling the guards that if they see her, they should immediately expunge her from the premises… but she just made Razoul her friend and now she basically has free roam! She basically lives here!

Ugh, how Jafar would just like to drop kick her and her cute little smiles to Tim Buk Tu.

Nevertheless, Jafar has a job, a goal, and a reputation. So, he follows his Sultans voice to the throne room and, on seeing Y/N’s sleeping form curled up like a kitten on the floor by a wall, looks tiredly to the Sultan. “My apologies, sir, I’ll extract her.”

“Oh no, don’t be silly. I just called you to move her to my chair,” His throne?? “She’ll be far more comfortable there. I would do it myself, but its clear you’re the only one she trusts around here. You must have really bonded these past weeks with her, Jafar! I’m proud of you! Now, bye!~ I’m going to look for Jasmine. Be careful to not drop Y/N! Hoo hoo.” Giggling away like he does, making Jafar feel like the only adult in the room, the Sultan hops off the find his own terror as Jafar heaves a great sigh and strides over to the child in question.

Heaving her carefully up by the armpits, Jafar holds her up in front of him like a teddy bear- she’s that small, and light. And even with the feedings she’s been allowed here at the palace, she’s like this. Looking grim, Jafar mutters. “You’re the bane of my existence, you know.”

“I… I just want… “She’s only half awake, head still lolling forward and eyes still closed, holding onto dreamland. “To learn from the best… wizard… “

“Sorcerer.”

“Y… yeah… “

“Well, you’re certainly persistent.” He sighs, irritated, but giving her her dues as he brings her forward and rests her on his chest as he walks her to the throne. “And I am the best.”

He feels a little giggle and sticky hot breath against his collarbone before he puts her on the throne, watching her curl up again in the same feline inspired position as before when she was on the floor.

“Get sleep… Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Night Jafar...”

She might be sorcerer material… but she has a long journey to go before she even touches my staff.

[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 211

Cammie

"Really?" I giggle.

"Girl, yes."

I chuckle. I was talking to Kiesha Cole about her kid's grandmother. "What? Me and Trey's mother went out last night. Just the two of us. That's not normal is it?"

"Hell no."

"Well, I don't have a bad attitude like you." I laugh.

"Oh, bullshit." She snaps. "Don't get me started on you helfa. I swear."

I pick Caden up then lay him on the scale that the lady had tapped. Me and Caden are at the doctor's office. April and Lane are at the house. Trey is wherever he is being a jackass for some odd reason.

"Let me get off the phone. This boy lost weight."

"Oh no. Okay. Call me back and let me know what's going on."

I sigh then pick him up. "Like... can you zero it again."

The nurse does. "Has he had more wet diapers? Diarrhea? Maybe increased vomiting?"

"No." I say blankly.

"Well we will figure it out. What about changes in diet? Are you still breastfeeding?"

I sigh taking him off the scale. He had lost 8 lbs. What the hell?

"He was at his grandma's for a few days. I breastfeed him when he is home."

"He might not be taking in as much with the bottle." She suggests. "Let's have the nutritionist come down and ask some questions."

I try not to cry. "I'm starving my baby."

"No. He isn't starving. He hasn't been crying more has he?"

"No."

She nods. "Don't worry. If he not in any discomfort then he will be fine. We see this all the time with mothers going from bottles to breast."

I don't say nothing to her. She leaves not for a few minutes. I dress Caden back up and hold him up in front of me. He doesn't look like he lost any weight. I don't need the stress in my life of him not doing good. I really don't. There's a tap on the door.

"Nutrition. Good morning."

"I guess. Why is my baby losing weight?"

She smiles hard. "Because he is a baby. No I'm just kidding. Don't worry. Let's talk about solids. Have you added them to his diet?"

"Rice but it makes him gassy."

"Try to introduce something else. Maybe cereal with less milk. Something through a spoon. If he hasn't had any changes in his diet then he needs more nourishment. You getting to the stage where breastmilk just isn't enough."

I wipe my eyes. "Okay. He has been away from e more in the last few days. Not breastfeeding, just bottles."

"Formula?"

"Breastmilk."

She writes some stuff down on her paper. "That could be another thing. Let's do this, stop crying. 8 lbs is nothing. He came along way and 8 lbs will do nothing to him. Let's stay away from the bottles for at least a week. He could be hungry but getting exhausted from how different the milk flows. If he gains weight we will know that's the problem. But if he has more weight loss we will know he needs more solid foods. He is 3 months if you start at his expected birth date. So we can't advance him too fast. So we can't expect him to be an expert at both breastfeeding and bottle feeding."

I inhale holding it then exhale. "Okay, breastfeed for a week exclusively then come back for a weigh in?"

"Correct. Depending on his weight we will either get him some new bottles or add solids."

"I have a very busy week. What if... nevermind. I'll just cancel anything that forces me to be away from home for more than 3 hours. Okay."

"And Mommy. Make sure you are drinking enough fluids with your increase in activity. Also make sure you are eating enough."

I make my eyes big. "Wait that could effect my milk? Like the calories?"

She smiles. "No. But you don't want to become unhealthy. Yes, it's about baby but remember Mommy."

"Okay." I say fixing Caden's clothes. "I need to get Lane in here for an appointment. See if he losing weight."

"He is walking and talking. Let's focus on Caden."

I put Caden in his seat. "I feel like I'm always focused on Caden. Caden?"

He watches me like bitch get me back out of here. I sigh then turn to the doctor. She was writing some more stuff down. I wonder what she is fucking writing. I roll my eyes and take out my phone. I feel like being grimy and not even letting Trey know nothing. He is being a real jackass. Like he literally told me not to call him. Like when has me calling you ever been a fucking issue? I have always called this man when I fucking wanted. I'll talk to April and let her tell him. Or maybe Forrest. It might piss him off more to hear Forrest ranting about Caden being sick... well losing weight.

 Trey

Forrest sucks his teeth. "Aye, you already know what the deal is with that. Fuck yeah. Love you too, sis. Yeah."

"What?" I snap.

"Damn, I can't fucking come in here?"

I put my phone down. "No."

He shrugs. "Well any fucking way. I'm leaving. You being a fucking dick."

"Sounds like you gonna fucking cry."

"Naw. But anyway. You know your fucking kid had a doctor's appointment today? Don't worry about calling Cammie cause she said she rather not deal with your shit. But Caden lost 8lbs. At his age he supposed to be growing she say. So she has to exclusively breastfeed for a few days. I just want you to know that you being a fucking bad ass husband and father right now. You not even doing shit in Miami. You just here to be away from there. But anyway."

I sit up. "Bitch, you don't know what the fuck I have to do."

"You just sitting here."

"I fucking got here early bitch."

He shrugs. "Yeah, and that bitch that just so happened stood you up just so happened to contact you cause you here early? Okay though. I won't tell cause your wife not stupid. But I'm leaving cause if I see you with another bitch my lips might just run themselves."

"Bye then bitch. I don't give a fuck."

"Aight." He says shutting the door.

I shake my head. Fuck every fucking body. I call the doctor that was seeing Caden when he was in Atlanta.

"Mr. Neverson, I received Caden's update just a few minutes ago."

"I was calling to see if you could explain it to me. I mean how bad is losing 8 lbs?"

He takes a deep breath. "Honestly at this stage of brain development it can be critical. But the brain does have its defenses. It will slow the growth of his body in proportion to the brain. Right now he only lost undetectable body fat. His face is still round and his belly is still fat. We will know more after exclusively breastfeeding. He might have missed his mother and ate less. You never know. Just keep an eye on changes in diaper patterns. Things such as using more or less."

"Alright. Sounds good. Just wanted to know what you think."

"Keep Cammie focused. I warned the doctor there about how she worries. Just reassure her that everything is okay. Babies go through these things."

I nod. "Alright. Well do."

He hangs up the phone. I feel like shit. I'm not going to reassure shit. I'm not feeling no fucking remorse about the shit I've been doing. I simply feel like shit and nothing makes it better. I drop the phone on the bed. I had some damn Xanax pills. I grab my bag and pour some in my hand. I sit there staring at them. Get lost to the world or deal with my problems? I shake a few back into the container. Not that far away from the world. I throw them in my mouth and swallow them dry.

April

"Ma." Forrest blows when I answer the phone. "Trey being a damn fool. What are we going to do?"

I chuckle. "Nothing. I got my grandbabies."

"Caden with you too?"

"Yes."

He sucks his teeth. "He gonna fucking destroy everything. We not gonna sit around and let that happen."

I flip Caden over on his belly. "Baby, some times you have to let people fall on their ass."

"Ma." He snaps. "Damn, what's wrong with everyone? He could lose his kids."

"No he will not. If anything he will lose his wife."

Forrest blows frustrated. "You gonna let that happen?! What is really going on?"

"I went to Trey when he was in LA acting like he had left the state. I simply told him that he fucking up. He does not care right now. He wants to self destruct. Let him."

"I can't believe this shit." He says hanging up on me.

I pinch Caden's little thigh. He finds that so funny that he couldnt hold his own head up anymore. Lane brings himself over to the bed. He was acting like an asshole two minutes ago. He is so emotional and bad. He stares at Caden to see what's funny. I pinch Caden's thigh again making him laugh. Lane reaches for Caden then pulls his hand back. He stares at his hand then starts licking it.

"Lane, gotdamn it. What the fuck is that?" I ask grabbing his hand.

"Chocolate."

I smell it. I was relieved that it was actually chocolate. "Where did you get chocolate? Were you in your mama's room?"

"No."

"Are you lying to me?"

He licks his hand. "No, ma'am."

I grab a wipe then his hand. "Let me clean it up before you have it all over the house."

"No!" He yells pulling his hand away from me and stomping his feet. "Stop! Ouch!"

I let him go. This boy is bad. He hits the floor smearing chocolate on the carpet. He looks at his hand then he starts screaming. So much for not getting that chocolate all over the place. He brings me his hand crying really loud. I don't know if he crying cause he hurt or if he think he in trouble.

"It nasty!" He cries shoving his hand at me.

"Boy." I snap grabbing it and wiping it off. "You are enough by yourself."

He frowns at me. I clean his hand then turn Caden over. He had started to cry. He has been doing that lately whenever Lane cries. They are both too much. I give Caden his pacifier. Cammie went to the studio for an hour to teach her assistant something about the routine she was teaching a group. Well now the assistant is teaching the group.

"I sleepy." Lane says grabbing Caden's pacifier. "Caden? Caden?"

"Caden can't talk."

"Why?" Lane says stuffing the pacifier in his mouth roughly.

I sigh. Caden didn't mind. "He doesn't know how."

Lane pokes Caden's stomach making him smile and drop the pacifier. Lane does it again. Thank God he wasn't being too rough with his poking. Lane frowns his face at Caden. He touches his cheek.

"Caden hurt."

"No he is okay. Just a scratch."

Lane pushes Caden's face to the side to get a better look. "Who did it?"

I chuckle. "Caden did it. His nails at too long."

"I do it."

"Lane let's not cut his nails."

He was determined. He walks out of the room then he comes back. This smart ass little boy brings back the kit Cammie had. It had nail clippers and other stuff for Caden. Lane taps it showing me the clippers. I take them out. He makes his eyes big then grabs Caden hand. He understood what was happening. I start cutting Caden nails.

"Careful." Lane attempts to say.

"Okay." I smile.

True definition of brother's keeper. I instantly think about Forrest. He is worried about his brother like his brother worries about him. Of course I don't want to see Trey lose his family. But I tried. He is at that point where my opinion doesn't matter. Forrest's opinion means nothing. I watch Lane's little eyes carefully making sure I dont hurt his brother. They have it from birth. It can't be faked. It's just them. I wait until I'm finished then call Cammie.

"Hey, Ma. Everything okay?" Cammie says out of breath.

"With the boys everything is okay. I'm just worried about Trey. He has been acting stupid distant."

She sighs. "Yeah. I think so too. I just don't have time for that."

"Well Cammie who else is going to have time for it if you don't?"

"True." She sighs. "There's nothing I can do from LA and he won't come home. You know he hasn't called about Caden?"

"I'm sure he called someone asking questions."

She sucks her teeth. "Well who fucking else should know better than his wife? Ma, I'll be home shortly."

"He might need that extra push."

"I'll think about it. It's always about him. I want to be selfish too."

I pick Lane up on the bed. "Yes, baby, I know. But your marriage. These boys. The promise you both made them."

She sucks her teeth. "Bye, Ma. I'll think about that later."

"Okay, Baby. We'll be here napping."

"Okay."

I feel confident in that conversation. If anybody can get him out of his shit, its Cammie. If she fucking wants to. I just didn't want to help his dumbass. He probably somewhere cheating on her. Fucking dumbass. But anyway. I tried.

[my-emotional-self]

The Viking and The Star Part 18 (Ivar x OC)

Pairings: Ivar x OC

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Fluff, Mild Smut (Fingering, Oral)

Summary: Ivar convinces you he is sorry in a pleasurable way. The brothers sit down to talk about their next plan as Ivar finally takes control.  You ask Ivar again for a favor.  

When you became conscious, Ivar was next to you stroking your hair.  Turning your head to face him he gave you a smile before leaning down to capture your lips.  His lips were warm and soft, very inviting and you bit down on his lower lip, nibbling it causing him to growl out.  He pulled away and placed a light touch on your neck; you winced at feeling.  “I am sorry for being so rough with you my star. I just became so angry when you asked Floki to take you with him.  I do not wish for you to leave me, ever.”  From the look in his eyes you could tell he was speaking the truth.  

Your hand came up to his head, scratching his scalp.  “I just do not know what to do Ivar.  The other day when you saw me come out of the tent after Sigurd, I thought I lost you forever.  You were so upset, disappointed even.  Then that evil child killed my sister and I felt so lost, so alone.”  A single tear began to fall from your eye as you spoke and Ivar quickly wiped it away.  

“You do not think that I am alone too Hettie,” Ivar asked with sadness in his eyes.  

You sighed, your hand coming down to cup his cheek.  “Yes but you have two brothers with you Ivar.  I have nobody.”

“You have me!” he snapped.

“Do I Ivar?  Do I really have you?  Because to be honest I do not know the truth about that.  You seem to want to be with me, then other days it does not look that way.”

His hand rested on your exposed thigh and you felt a tingle rush to your womanhood.  “I do want to be with you Hettie.  Ever since that day I kissed you on the cliff I have wanted you. I know it does not seem that way, but you have captured my heart in ways no one else has ever come close to.”  His words made your heart dance happily in your chest; a sly smile appearing on your lips.  “Now how about I make it up to you,” he said as his hand trailed lightly up your leg before finally reaching your core.  

Your back arched off the furs as his fingers quickly sought out your throbbing clit.  “Ivar,” you moaned in pleasure and your body began to tremble.  Ivar scurried down the furs before burying his face between your thighs.  He spread your lips and you felt his hot breath fanning against your most sensitive parts.  Reaching down you gripped his hair just as you felt his tongue lap at your juices.  “YES,” you mewled breathlessly.  Ivar continued to tease you at a torturous pace; your hips gyrating upwards.  

Ivar chuckled at your ministrations.  “Patience my star.”

You let out a breathy moan before replying, “Ivar I have no patience right now.  Please do not tease me.”

Luckily he seemed in a much better mood as his mouth covered your clit; his tongue lazily circling your nub as he plunged two lengthy fingers into you.  He began working his fingers and mouth at a merciless pace; your breath coming in short spurts as you felt your orgasm begin to build.  Your head began to feel dizzy as Ivar pumped his fingers inside of you; curling at the right angle and hitting your special spot. Your legs started to tremble, closing around his head to keep him there.  The sounds of your arousal echoing around the room and Ivar hummed around your clit, sending you over the edge.  “YES IVAR!” you cried in pleasure as your high flooded your body; all of your muscles tightening as Ivar’s fingers coaxed you from your rush.  

You lay there, exhausted on the furs as Ivar came up and wrapped another fur around the two of you. He pulled you close as you nestled on his chest; Ivar placed a soft kiss to your forehead.  “Sleep now my star.”

~~~

The following days you found yourself helping out the women around camp.  Washing clothes and cooking food helped your mind to ease on everything that happened.  It was when Floki was ready to depart that your feelings came rushing back to you.  

It was hard to say the least, saying goodbye to the man who your sister was in love with; the man that took you in no problem when your parents abandoned you; the man who loved your sister with every being.  “I wish you a fair journey Floki,” you said through tears as you clung to him.  

“Thank you Hettie. And do not let this crippled bastard cause you any more heartache,” he giggled in response.  His comment put a smile on your face.  

Ivar was sat on a stump; your hand gripped with his as everyone waved to Floki, bidding him a safe journey.  Your heart ached not knowing if you would ever see him again, but you Ivar consoled you and for once, you felt like this might actually be where you belonged; with Ivar.  

That evening you were with Ivar, Ubbe and Hvitserk as they discussed what they should be doing.  

“I do not want to disband the army.  In fact I want to continue the war on the Saxons while we are in a position of strength. My suggestion is that we go back North to where we defeated Aelle.  We should establish a permanent camp as you say but near the coast so we can raid to wherever we want.”  You continued to eat your meal as you listened to the brothers go on about ideas. As Ivar spoke you found yourself nodding, thinking it was a rather smart idea.  

“Our fathers dream was that we wouldn’t be just raiders.  That we would behave in a different way,” Ubbe retorted.  

“You are not listening Ubbe. We have to have a stronghold.  If we go north we are closer to our own lands and shipping routes.  We can build an impregnable fortress.”  Your heart swelled with pride as Ivar kept speaking. He was a mastermind and you were happy that he was finally putting that to use.    

“Where,” Hvitserk questioned.  

“I’ve heard of a town called York.”  Both Ubbe and Hvitserk exchanged glances at one another and you placed your hand on Ivar’s back, letting him know that this was his moment, he was in power right now. “It is built on a major river and it is not far from the sea.  And I think that we should take it.”

Ubbe fought the idea, thinking that it would look like they were withdrawing but Ivar was quick to explain how this would be a tactical idea.  If the camp was set in the middle of the country, enemies would be able to swarm the area easily, but if camp was set in York, we would be closer to home.

“I agree with Ivar,” Hvitserk said while looking at Ubbe.  Ivar placed his chin in his hands, a smirk growing on his face as Hvitserk agreed with his idea.  Ubbe began to nod his head, finally agreeing before heading out of the tent, leaving a smug Ivar in his wake.  

~~~

The camp quickly packed up and moved farther north, closer to York as the army agreed with Ivar’s plan. He was in a much better mood the last few days and you could not have been more proud of him.  As the camp settled in you had been debating on whether or not to talk to Ivar about an idea you were thinking about.  The last time you asked such an idea he was quick to say no, demanding you be safe.  But now that he was in a better mood, you had hoped his mind would change.  

“Ivar,” you asked softly as you found him submerged in the bath; his head relaxing back on a towel. His head lifted when he heard your voice, turning to see you standing behind him.  

“Yes my star?”

Taking a deep breath you limped forward, your foot giving you more pain lately from the move. Kneeling down beside him you placed your lips to his in a passionate kiss, hoping to ease what you were about to ask.  You pulled away as Ivar rested his forehead on yours.  Upon opening your eyes you could see he had a smirk on his lips.  “I want to do more than stay around camp, cooking and cleaning.”

The smirk quickly disappeared off his face, his brows furrowing inward.  “And what did you have in mind?”

“I thought maybe learning archery,” you replied with hope in your voice.  “That way I do not have to be on the actual battlefield or in the danger. I could be off, hidden somewhere yet hopefully still manage to help.”

Ivar’s face softened as you explained your idea.  “Is this really want you want to do?”  You quickly nodded your head, eager to hear if he would agree to it.  His hand came up from out of the warm water, tangling into your hair.  “Then we must get you trained fast.”  You were overjoyed and began to squeal; jumping into the bath with him.  Ivar chuckled at your giddiness.  “My brothers and I are going to check out York tomorrow. We will know from there when we plan on taking the city.  In the meantime I will find you a suitable teacher to help train you.”  You grinned widely before placing your lips to his yet again; your hands pressed against his bare chest and you soon felt his cock become hard underneath you.    

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[oh-my-otome]

Hello! I love your blog. I was creeping around your blog and I saw that Ieyasu character analysis. It was perfect. I was wondering if you could do something similar for Saizo? I feel that his attitude towards his MC would drive her away in the long run. Like sure, she loves him and wants to be there for him, but he leaves her alone for considerable amounts of time, and idk he just feels so closed off. Their relationship has a lack of communication that could cause them to drift apart. Thoughts?

Hello, there! Thank you so much! I’m so glad that you enjoyed it! 

These are really fun to do! Ieyasu’s can be found here. 

Saizō is the king of lies, and tells them as easily as the wind blows. As much as he tries to outsmart everyone else, even he becomes ensnared by his failure to tell the truth.

He’ll say that he won’t lift a finger to help, and the next thing you know, he’s been skulking in the shadows, making sure that everything is all right, ready to swoop in and assist at the drop of a hat.

Even other people notice it:

He gets annoyed when you or Yukimura don’t do things right, saying that it’s not his problem and that he doesn’t care, only to turn around and help you through until the end, despite what he said.

For as much as he declares that he does not care about love or family, and shows his annoyance outwardly, Saizō will do anything and everything that he can to protect the ones that he cares about, no matter the cost.

Hotaru even outs him:

MC: “What do you do when you get lost?”

Hotaru: “My older brother will come and pick me up.”

So in other words, he’ll stop everything to rescue his little bro from the elements.

Keep pretending to be annoyed, Saizō. It’s totally working! You’ve fooled us all!

For all of his posturing that they annoy him, Saizō does love his siblings, as he keeps Hotaru safe from Kotarō, whenever he shows up, and respects his sister’s advice. He bitches and moans about them, but in the end, even for Saizō, family is family.

To Saizō, it is not only blood that makes a family, but connection, as he cares deeply for his fallen friend, his protégé Sasuke, and his lifelong childhood friend Yukimura.

But for Saizō, these connections must be built over time, as we see that tertiary degrees mean little to him: he cares nothing at all for Inuchiyo, and shows a similar disinterest in Yahiko. He’ll speak to him when spoken to, but he doesn’t go out of his way to engage him, like other suitors who spent time with him.

Even though he is almost always away from his village, and even though he has lived with the Takeda since he was a child, Saizō considers his home to be wherever his MC is, and he makes a beeline for her the minute that he comes back.     

Firmly in the kuu and tsun categories of dere-types, Saizō displays a special dichotomy of behavior patterns, both coldly reclusive and hot-tempered. More often than not, Saizō chooses to withdraw from others, giving them the cold shoulder, but he is no stranger to blowing a fuse, either, and is quick to use sarcasm, both as an insult and as a defense mechanism.

Rather than admit when he’s wrong, Saizō will also use sarcasm as a shield to protect his ego. Sometimes, this manifests when he wants to tease you, only for him to realize halfway through, that you have him in the palm of your hand:

Saizō’s MC is far more inconsistent than most other MCs, even from event story to event story.

She is either convinced that her only purpose on this earth is to obsessively love him no matter how he treats her, and unceasingly make him dango.

Or she loves him like a regular person and is occasionally tired of his bull and will call him out on it. And then unceasingly make him dango. 

When Obsessed MC shows up, she is little better than Kotarō in his Fan Boy mode. They just go about it in different ways.

When she is more normal, she’ll speak her mind, but then immediately go back to worrying about what Saizō thinks about something, instead of just sticking with her original opinion.

While he does go on missions often, which can create emotional distance in a relationship, he has the added benefit of having an MC who is quite obsessed with his opinion of her. 

Her self-worth is one of the lowest of all of the MCs, as she tells herself again and again that she lives to make dango– just that one dish –to keep Saizō happy, and that so long as she can do that, she will be happy, herself.

With a dynamic like this, unless she boosts her self-esteem, no matter what Saizō does, she will remain, as not only are they not on equal footing in terms of *education and finances, but she believes that she is happy where she is.

Like Nobunaga, he’s also a hypocrite:

Saizō displays a certain amount of vanity when it comes to his job. He supplements his income with money from his front, the popular restaurant in Kyoto, and also with the books he writes. 

Using his reputation, he tends to pick and choose his missions to a certain degree, but even he cannot escape the rules of the village, and when they want to come down on him, they do not hesitate based on his previous accomplishments.

Saizō’s arrogance is one of his defining features, and to be fair, he does have quite a bit of plot armor, but he is never able to escape the memory of killing his best friend.

Whenever it rains, Saizō is overcome with feelings of guilt, and the rain itself represents how helpless he is to change what he’s done– no one can change the weather, and no one can go back in time.

In fact, it wouldn’t be unreasonable for Saizō to see it as his own personal hell that the friend he loved so much, and is responsible for killing, shares a similar personality with the woman he loves.

As it turns out, Saizō is particularly sentimental, going out of his way to keep a comb in near mint condition from childhood into adulthood, and setting traps just to protect it. He won’t even tell you that he has it, keeping it a secret, even though it’s yours.

He extends the same reverence for his friend’s sword, keeping both items close to him, and not allowing another person to touch them, barely speaking about either one, as he continues to internalize his feelings.

Saizō has the odd kink of being turned on by ear cleaning. He does mention that he likes the way you “moan” (his words, though MC is not moaning out of pleasure), but he also finds the entire act itself– including the ear gunk, etc –arousing as well.

If anyone’s ever used an ear pick before, you know there’s no way he’s doing all of that “thrusting” it “deeper” without also encountering not only liquidized **ear wax, but blood.

Because Saizō loves dango so much, and because his MC obsessively desires to please him by almost exclusively making his favorite food and little else, and because Saizō just sits there happily eating it without a care in the world, Saizō’s lack of energy when he’s off-work is not entirely due to battle fatigue, but lack of proper nutrition.

Eating one type of food, exclusively, leads to malnutrition and lack of vitamins, which causes, among other things, fatigue and muscle weakness.

Realistically, rather than being buff, Saizō would experience the cannibalization of muscle tissue, as well as impaired brain function (and hemorrhages, gum disease, etc.)

When it comes to things that he doesn’t know, Saizō typically avoids it rather than learn about it, writing it off as something he doesn’t need to know about, or by saying that it’s just not done where he’s from.

At the end of the day, his plot armor takes care of it, rendering the story moot.

This is one of the reasons why people complain about Saizō– he’s rarely allowed to have any real flaws, because he can get out of any situation.

If another man accosts his MC, Saizō displays his jealousy by psychically inserting himself into the situation. 

He doesn’t just say something to the guy, or try to de-escalate the situation by leaving. Instead, he uses intimidation to mark his territory, often provoking the other man, even though he knows that he outclasses him on physical strength alone.

That is, if the other man is of a lower social station than himself. 

Saizō doesn’t dare to pull that type of thing with Kenshin and his nephew Kagekatsu, who both have him beat as far as being highborn.

When these two show an interest in his MC, Saizō quite politely squeezes between them, but smartly refrains from showing any disrespect.

When it comes to Kotarō, Saizō is plainly indifferent. 

He will only engage him if he absolutely has to, instead allowing Kotarō to exhaust himself in a star-struck frenzy, but Saizōkeeps his guard up, all the same.

If his MC or his brother are around, Saizō is a little more on his toes, but there is a slight difference in the way he protects the two from Kotarō:

Saizō will step in immediately if Kotarō is near his brother, but if it’s his MC, he is willing to use her as bait.

Saizō is Sasuke’s guardian, but true to the way children of Iga are raised, Saizō refrains from coddling him, instead giving him the same tough love that any other ninja would receive. 

Sasuke adores him, though, and respects him greatly. Of his two dads, he is close to Yukimura, but reveres Saizō.

Saizō, for his part, understands fundamentally that he could be much gentler when it comes to how he’s raising Sasuke, and walks a fine line between treating him the standard Iga way and wanting to give Sasuke a little bit of what he never had, himself.

Because he is a kuu/tsun mix, though, it is difficult for others to pinpoint if he’s actually being kind to them, or if he’s just doing enough to get them to leave him alone, in the moment.

As the reader, we know, but we can also tell that the characters usually take whatever they can get from Saizō, even if they’re confused about why he’s behaving the way he is.

This can usually be seen when Saizō, seemingly randomly, treats Sasuke to a surprise mission, when Saizō gives Yukimura a rare straight answer with no back-sass, and when he gives his MC some service.

When it comes to Yukimura, Saizō’s loyal to the bone, but he’ll still tell him off when he gets too reckless, such as when he faced off against Ieyasu and was about to be killed.

Although he treats Yukimura as both family and his closest friend, he does find him attractive as well.

Kiyohiro is usually tasked with gettingSaizō to actually show up for missions, and he plays a nanny role for Saizō the same way that Kanetsugu has to stay on Kenshin in order for anything to be done.

Saizō is the author of the Lover’s Guides, which have several volumes and spin-offs, but it should be noted that they do not include any information on foreplay, often leaving the people reading them to either be completely stumped as to what to do next, or become frustrated– usually to hilarious effect.

*none of the MCs would be on the same level as **any of the lords when it comes to wealth or education.

The Maeda family was the second largest land-owning family, the Tokugawa being the first., making them incredibly wealthy and powerful.

**Still gross, but:

 @wonky-glass-ornament: “Spot on, but I wanted to point out something about the earwax thing: Asian have a different type of earwax than white and black people. Theirs is dry and flaky, whereas ours is wet and oily. Cleaning your ears, therefore, is quite different if you are Asian. Link.”